As the title of this post indicates, I worry that I may be giving tests that are unfair because they are simply too difficult. Perhaps, as the English teacher with a love for literature, I have been biased and not seen the injustice of my tests. I present you with two recent cases; you be the judge:
1) Students were given a month and a half to read Of Mice and Men independently. Then they were given a predominantly multiple choice test to prove whether they read it or not--you know, general plot questions like "Does Lennie like rabbits?" not stuff like "What is the 53rd word on page 62?". There was also a matching section in which students were expected to pair up a character name and a description of said character. Characters even included "Mice," which some students matched with "The strong worker with the mind of a child who likes to pet soft things." Perhaps "Furry animals that Lennie likes to pet" was not specific enough. Anyway, the average grade for my two classes of roughly 30 students each was about a 27% (Yep, we are talking out of 100%). The lowest grade was a zero despite the fact that "Name:" was clearly labeled "5 Points." The only six students who admitted to reading the novella (Yep, it's only about 100 pages long) scored well into the 90s.
Oh yeah, one last thing--the test was open notes. Aren't I cruel! First of all that presupposes that they would actually take notes; however, even that works on the false assumption that reading, oh say, two pages a night wouldn't be too much to ask. Shit, these fucks were too lazy to even read a summary of the book on sparknotes! Assholes!
2) Test on Edgar Allan Poe.
Part I. 25 multiple choice questions worth two points each. Directions: Decide which ELEMENT of the STORY is described below A- Plot B-Setting C- Character D- Theme
Samples
1) The dark and gloomy House of Usher
2) Dupin, the detective who solves the case
3) The moral/lesson that you should expect the unexpected
4) The beginning of the story when Fortunato is lured into the catacombs
Part II: Four short answer questions worth ten points each. Students must write AT LEAST TEN SENTENCES for each answer.
Sample
1) Which was your favorite story? Why? Describe some of the exciting, mysterious, or grotesque events.
And other such very open-ended question.
Oh yeah, writing your name on this one was worth ten points. In addition, the test was open book and if you did not finish it in class you could take it home to work on it. Finally, there was a ten point extra credit question.
One student scored a 45. He left three of the four short answer questions blank. Had he written "I like trucks" or simply "Duh," perhaps I could have given him some points. I didn't take off points for not capitalizing his name either.
Alas, have a I asked too much of this JUNIOR in HIGH SCHOOL? Well, you can at least rest easy with the knowledge that he WILL pass due to his 504/IEP (as discussed in a previous post). Yes, in only two years he will join the working world and be a great benefit to all of society. Just don't ask him to spell "society"...or to capitalize his name...or, just to be on the safe side, to complete task that requires even the most infinitesimal amount of cognitive ability--like breathing and doing something else at the same time.
To return to my initial question: Aren't I such a despot when it comes to grading?!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Vignettes
When it rains it pours. After that long post about 504s, here are some short examples of student intelligence.
-Bonus Question on Freshmen Vocab Quiz: What is the normal human body temperature?
Various Answers: 64, 156, and, I kid you not, 1.96
Also, many students were unable to define: “Hilarious,” “Massive,” and “Ignite” despite the fact that we reviewed the words together numerous times, they knew to study for a quiz, AND my six year old cousin could define these words.
-After a week of conducting background research on Shakespeare, Elizabethan England, and the Globe Theater, a student raised his hand in class:
Student: “Is Shakespeare still alive?”
Me (amidst the snickering of other students): “Yes, yes he is.”
Student: “Oh.”
Me (realizing he is serious and has believed me): “You know he was born in 1564, right?”
Student (still not catching on): “Ok.”
Me: “Do you realize that that makes him the oldest person alive…Ever!”
Student: “Wow.”
Me: “Put your head down and go to sleep,”
-Lowest grade on a recent Lord of the Flies test: 14%. Having never read the book, someone could have scored higher. Most of it was either true and false, multiple choice or matching. The student decided to leave most of it blank. After receiveing her grade, she could not understand how I could fail her nor why I would not let her make it up.
-Bonus Question on Freshmen Vocab Quiz: What is the normal human body temperature?
Various Answers: 64, 156, and, I kid you not, 1.96
Also, many students were unable to define: “Hilarious,” “Massive,” and “Ignite” despite the fact that we reviewed the words together numerous times, they knew to study for a quiz, AND my six year old cousin could define these words.
-After a week of conducting background research on Shakespeare, Elizabethan England, and the Globe Theater, a student raised his hand in class:
Student: “Is Shakespeare still alive?”
Me (amidst the snickering of other students): “Yes, yes he is.”
Student: “Oh.”
Me (realizing he is serious and has believed me): “You know he was born in 1564, right?”
Student (still not catching on): “Ok.”
Me: “Do you realize that that makes him the oldest person alive…Ever!”
Student: “Wow.”
Me: “Put your head down and go to sleep,”
-Lowest grade on a recent Lord of the Flies test: 14%. Having never read the book, someone could have scored higher. Most of it was either true and false, multiple choice or matching. The student decided to leave most of it blank. After receiveing her grade, she could not understand how I could fail her nor why I would not let her make it up.
Special Needs
Special Needs
Although it has been some time since my last post, that certainly does not mean that kids have actually been acting intelligently; I've just been busy. After all, the arrival of spring brings with it the arrival of the busiest time of year: 504 review time! A 504 is a list of accommodations that legally must be granted to a student based on his/her disability. Before I go off on a rant, let me say that I certainly think that students with genuine disabilities should be catered to to a certain degree; for example, in gym I would not require a wheelchair bound student to complete the same number of jumping jacks as everyone else. However, 99% of the 504s that come my way state that the student has ADHD/ADD. In short, they have trouble concentrating. Well tough shit! When I am not wholly interested in something, I also find it a bit more difficult to pay attention--that's life! I don't get out of it via some absurd modifications. In case you still think I'm callous, here are actual modifications that I have been required by law to grant students in my English class:
-Preferential seating (front and close to teacher). *When there are 28 students all with this modification, how do I satisfy it? Not to mention, I don't want the little fuckers "close" to me.
-Teacher will check student for understanding directions. *This is what we do for ALL students; we do not have time to individually ensure that each student understands.
-Reminders to focus. *How about: when I'm teaching you pay attention! I can't stop my lesson every five minutes to tell little Mikey to get his fingers out of his nose or ass or whatever!
-Modified tests. *IE make the test easier so that the student is sure to pass it. If he fails, the test was too hard and you did not follow the 504.
-Oral testing. *Yeah, Fuck writing, I mean what is this, an English class?!
-No penalty for late work. *So...once the student realizes he/she has missed the deadline that all of the others in the class were expected to meet and after we have gone over the answers in class, he/she can then turn in the work for no late penalty.
-Provide lecture notes. *Here's an idea: Take your own goddamn notes. This is school!
-Provide lots of praise, positive attention. *Now this one I like, I mean it does work with my new puppy, which, consequentially, is smarter than many of my students.
-Check work in progress. *Yes, for every student I will sit by his/her side to watch as he/she completes the work. Perhaps I will even hold the pencil for him/her and then maybe wipe his/her ass at the end.
-No spelling penalty. *Brilliant! This will teach them!
-No handwriting penalty. *If I can't read your chicken scratch, it's an automatic "A"!
-Allow him to doodle as it helps him listen. *Ahhhh, I didn't realize those various sketches of skulls and cross bones were an integral part of Mikey's understanding of our lesson on the beautiful imagery in the poem.
-Homework should be reduced by 50% for the student. *Ok, read the first half of To Kill A Mockingbird; forget about the rest it's not important anyway.
I'm sure as soon as I post this, I'll think of more and be pissed that I didn't add them, but these speak for themselves. By diagnosing every student with ADD and providing such modifications, we are only lowering the bar for said student and doing a very poor job in preparing him/her for college or, more likely, the "real world." Even when working at Taco Bell, these students are going to be held accountable for the work that they need to do--they won't get 50% less work because they have trouble focusing.
Finally, such modifications are completely unfair to the other students in the room. One student has to read 50 pages, take a written test on it, and is penalized for grammar and spelling errors (oh my god, just like a real class!); however, the ADHD student sitting next to him reads 25 pages, doesn't have to write shit, and has months to complete the work. Is this fair when they both get "A"s? Colleges don't know that one student did significantly LESS work because these disabilities are kept confidential.
Some kids are dumber than others. Face it. Some children need to be left behind. By lowering the standard we are doing an injustice to those students and to their peers.
On a lighter note:
Q- How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- Who cares, let's go ride bikes.
Although it has been some time since my last post, that certainly does not mean that kids have actually been acting intelligently; I've just been busy. After all, the arrival of spring brings with it the arrival of the busiest time of year: 504 review time! A 504 is a list of accommodations that legally must be granted to a student based on his/her disability. Before I go off on a rant, let me say that I certainly think that students with genuine disabilities should be catered to to a certain degree; for example, in gym I would not require a wheelchair bound student to complete the same number of jumping jacks as everyone else. However, 99% of the 504s that come my way state that the student has ADHD/ADD. In short, they have trouble concentrating. Well tough shit! When I am not wholly interested in something, I also find it a bit more difficult to pay attention--that's life! I don't get out of it via some absurd modifications. In case you still think I'm callous, here are actual modifications that I have been required by law to grant students in my English class:
-Preferential seating (front and close to teacher). *When there are 28 students all with this modification, how do I satisfy it? Not to mention, I don't want the little fuckers "close" to me.
-Teacher will check student for understanding directions. *This is what we do for ALL students; we do not have time to individually ensure that each student understands.
-Reminders to focus. *How about: when I'm teaching you pay attention! I can't stop my lesson every five minutes to tell little Mikey to get his fingers out of his nose or ass or whatever!
-Modified tests. *IE make the test easier so that the student is sure to pass it. If he fails, the test was too hard and you did not follow the 504.
-Oral testing. *Yeah, Fuck writing, I mean what is this, an English class?!
-No penalty for late work. *So...once the student realizes he/she has missed the deadline that all of the others in the class were expected to meet and after we have gone over the answers in class, he/she can then turn in the work for no late penalty.
-Provide lecture notes. *Here's an idea: Take your own goddamn notes. This is school!
-Provide lots of praise, positive attention. *Now this one I like, I mean it does work with my new puppy, which, consequentially, is smarter than many of my students.
-Check work in progress. *Yes, for every student I will sit by his/her side to watch as he/she completes the work. Perhaps I will even hold the pencil for him/her and then maybe wipe his/her ass at the end.
-No spelling penalty. *Brilliant! This will teach them!
-No handwriting penalty. *If I can't read your chicken scratch, it's an automatic "A"!
-Allow him to doodle as it helps him listen. *Ahhhh, I didn't realize those various sketches of skulls and cross bones were an integral part of Mikey's understanding of our lesson on the beautiful imagery in the poem.
-Homework should be reduced by 50% for the student. *Ok, read the first half of To Kill A Mockingbird; forget about the rest it's not important anyway.
I'm sure as soon as I post this, I'll think of more and be pissed that I didn't add them, but these speak for themselves. By diagnosing every student with ADD and providing such modifications, we are only lowering the bar for said student and doing a very poor job in preparing him/her for college or, more likely, the "real world." Even when working at Taco Bell, these students are going to be held accountable for the work that they need to do--they won't get 50% less work because they have trouble focusing.
Finally, such modifications are completely unfair to the other students in the room. One student has to read 50 pages, take a written test on it, and is penalized for grammar and spelling errors (oh my god, just like a real class!); however, the ADHD student sitting next to him reads 25 pages, doesn't have to write shit, and has months to complete the work. Is this fair when they both get "A"s? Colleges don't know that one student did significantly LESS work because these disabilities are kept confidential.
Some kids are dumber than others. Face it. Some children need to be left behind. By lowering the standard we are doing an injustice to those students and to their peers.
On a lighter note:
Q- How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A- Who cares, let's go ride bikes.
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